I remember the last time I saw you, as if it was yesterday. You were upset with me, because you knew i was going to leave Colorado, we had been talking about it since christmas. There were no jobs here and I had just gotten out of college. I didn't want to continue being a barmaid, I had a degree, I could do better. You knew that my mom had asked me to come to georgia, she was willing to help us get started. I couldn't handle your love hate relationship with her, I didn't want dragged into it anymore. The other female ( the one scorn) wasn't any better, but that was were you needed to stay. We were talking about things when the phone rang and you told him to get the phone "it was probably his girlfriend" and he said to you "shut up or I'll shoot you" I slapped him on the arm with the back of my hand and told him to never talk to his uncle that way. You told him to leave. I was so rattled that someone so young would just say that, I left...
I never gave up hope we would be togather again, after all we had a daughter. I honestly thought if I went to georgia, and got a job and a place to stay, I could convence you to join us and that was what I did, I had a job within a week. I sent you a card for your birthday on the 20th, and gave you my number. I had the money to fly you there. I told you how much we missed and loved you. That we needed you. Did you ever get that card? I'll never know.
I received a call from a dear friend. We hadn't spoke in some time. She found me in georgia and was the one that told me you were dead, it was on the news. He shot you. I remember when I got off the phone with you, Lyn, I just sat there, my life had just been changed forever.
That was 23 years ago today. I've never fogotten you, everytime I look into your daughters beautiful blue eyes, your eyes, I see you. She is stubborn like you, funny like you, and she is so very sweet, just like you.
My purpose for this blog is to ask someone to please explain to me wtf happened that day. I have a right to know. I was a part of his life too.
Calling you was one of the hardest things I have ever done. What if I was wrong and it wasn't him...maybe we would have a belly laugh of relief...but sad it was still someone with a family.
ReplyDeleteI know I so stunned your world. I heard the void and the roar.
Love you.
Lyn
That day can only be told as a story.. you will never know exactly what happened and even the people involved "might think" they remmeber what happened, but our minds can change an events. As we think it over and over and over sometimes "what we might have done" goes in place of what was actually done. It's something that we have to live with.. only the people in that room that day will ever know the true reasoning of what went on and what happened. I relied to you of what I was told by that one individual.. But it will always be a question unanswered. I love you!
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